One Piece: The Hunter and Tundra
by Pokepika's Haunt
Summary: Fem!Luffy Fanfic  Monkey D. Luffy and her older brother, Blitzkrieg, are on the run from the government when they have a run in with the Whitebeard Pirates. Rated T for safety, more inside!
1. Memories of Escape and Betrayal!

A/N. Ok, I seem to be short on ideas and motivation. Not sure why. But yeah. Hopefully this is at least a little good. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy this!

Summary: "The Hunter" Blitzkrieg and Luffy of the Tundra were the marines best tracking team, known for their abilities to hunt down even the most elusive of Pirates But then loyalties are destroyed and lines are crossed, and now Blitz and Luffy are on the run. Things just get more complicated when they have a run in with some rather famous pirates.

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece!**

* * *

><p><strong>Memories of Escape and Betrayal!<strong>

* * *

><p><em>"What do you mean executioin! We've done nothing wrong!"<em>

_"I mean exactly what I said. And it doesn't matter whether you've done nothing wrong or not. The government has decided that you two are too dangerous to let live!"_

_"At least Luf go! She's just a kid!"_

_"No can do. Sorry Blitz."_

_"Blast it all...It isn't fair!"_

_"I know..."_

_"Can't you do anything?"_

_"Blitz I'm not even a rear admiral! I can't do anything. What do you want me to do? March in there and demand that they let you two go! I can't do that, I'm sorry, but it's not in my power-"_

_"Ha! So that's what it comes down to again...Power. It's overrated if you ask me..."_

_"And that kind of talks part of the reason you're down here now!"_

_"So how long do we have?"_

_"Four days, and that's if they don't decide to bump it up. In which case you'll probably be executed tomorrow, if not tonight."_

_"Great..."_

_"Blitz-"_

_"It's nothing Lu...Just go back to sleep."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Ok...They'll let us out soon right?"_

_"..."_

_"It's okay Blitz-nii, you don't have to answer."_

_"Thanks for understanding kiddo."_

_"Quit calling me kiddo! Good night!"_

_"Night Lu."_

_..._

_"You're going to try and escape, aren't you?"_

_"I'm not letting them kill Luf. She's done nothing wrong."_

_"It's impossible, you'll just make things worse!"_

_"At least I can say I tried! I'm not giving up without a fight!"_

_"Blitz! You're in a cell at the very lowest level of Impel Down! There's no WAY you can get out of here!"_

_"Like. I. Said. I'm not going down without a fight! They're going to kill us! It'll be on my terms! Not theirs!"_

_"Fine...Blitz,be that way. You were always stubborn, I knew that. But I didn't know you were stupid too. You never change and you enver grow up!"_

_"Who ever said that I was the one that didn't grow up. At least I'm willin' to fight for my dreams! You'd just rollover and play the loyal dog!"_

_"Better then the criminal with Death looming over his and his owns head!"_

_"I thought you were our friend...Guess not."_

_"You guess correctly. It was nice knowing you. Hunter..."_

_"Yeah, see ya...I guess."_

_"Whatever."_

_"Ludwick C. Amintier...You are and always will be, a fool of the highest degree. Or as Luffy would say, _'Hijo de un payaso y bufón!'_"_

_..._

_"You understand the plan Lu?"_

_"Yep!"_

_"Ready?"_

_"Do you really have to ask?"_

_"Heh! Guess not. Let's go!"_

_"Hai!"_

_..._

_"We did it Lu! We're free!"_

_"What next Blitz-nii?"_

_"Next..Well I'm not sure...For now though, we need to worry about getting caught. Nobody's broken out of Impel Down succesfully since Shiki was here. If we get caught, we'll get more then a slap on the wrist."_

_"They have to find us first!"_

_"And they won't be taking us in alive."_

_"Not if we can help it right!"_

_"Yep! I taught you well!"_

_"You taught me everything I know."_

_"Your good-for-nothin' grandfather sure as hell wasn't going to. Too busy babbling on about turning people into marines! Let's go before we get caught."_

_"He's your granddad too!"_

_"Remember Luffy. From now on, we're fugitives on the run from the law. And don't go associating me with that crazy fool. I will swear until I am dead and buried, singin' with angels, that I am not related to that man in anyways!"_

_"Is it really that important to remember? And fine, he's not your grandpa...I still say he is though."_

_"__...No. And you know what?...Oh forget it."_

_"Then why should I?"_

_"I thought it'd be a cool thing to say."_

_"Shishishi! Let's just go you idiot! And he's still your grandpa."_

_"Just drop it!"_

* * *

><p><strong>1 year later-<strong>

Jones D. Blitzkrieg was a man of few words, and even fewer friends. But then when you were on the run from the law, you didn't have the time to make friends. The majority of people you met were usually too busy trying to capture you for you to get all buddy buddy with them. But he wasn't alone in this, and while he was happy with the company, he sometimes had to wonder if it was really such a good idea. His younger sister was his partner in crime, though the only thing they had done wrong when they had been first prosecuted, was exist apparently. But that was how the government ran. If you were deemed too dangerous by them, they would arrest you, or at least try to, and execute you for all to see.

Monkey D. Luffy, that was his sister's name. And in truth, you'd actually be wrong if you were to assume that they weren't siblings by blood. Blitzkrieg had taken their mother's maiden name, while Luffy stuck with their father's name. They were siblings though, same mother, same father, and about 13 other brothers and sisters they didn't know about and that all shared the same parents as them, though like their parents, they'd never get to meet them. They'd been lucky to even meet each other. She was 12 years his junior, and at age 15, with him being 27, she was still as dangerous as him, and had the literal bite to back it up. It didn't help that you usually wound up with pneumonia or some deadly disease like that that was usually a result of inhumanly cold temperatures.

Either way she could kick Akainu's butt, with some help of course, and still have energy left to drive everybody else up the wall.

Blitzkrieg was just as deadly, and with a lot more experience under his belt then his younger sister, he was actually more powerful and skilled then her. And Devil Fruit user he may not be, but he could still kick their butts.

They were also the navy's best tracking team, or at least had been. Until about a year ago when the navy decided that they were too dangerous to keep around.

"The Hunter" Blitzkrieg and Luffy of the Tundra. They were wanted, with a bounty high enough to give anybody who actually cared an aneurysm. 250 million beli, and they weren't even pirates. But then again, when you were the children of the world's most wanted man and the only woman to ever hold the figurative title of Queen of the Pirates, and broke out of Impel Down with moderate injuries, of course those injuries were nothing when compared to some of the wounds recieved before then. Most of which had been fatal, and how they were still alive was a miracle in and of itself. But that was beside the point.

Right now, was one of those times where he found himself beginning to contemplate taking his sister and dropping her off on some unknown island that the marines didn't ever bother with. Why was actually quite simple.

They hadn't been on this island for even five minutes, and already she was picking fight with somebody. The unlucky fool looked familiar, he was too busy trying to think of a way to drag his sister away without causing any more of a scene then was already made, to think about it.

He sighed as he just grabbed her arm and proceeded to drag her out of the tavern.

"Sorry 'bout that!" He called as he made his way for the door. He was stopped though when a huge man with black hair and chinese armor decided to stand in his way. "Uh...sorry sir, but can you, please move?" Blitzkrieg asked as politely as he could. Luffy was looking about curiously as she had calmed down, not one to ever stay angry for long. She was on of those, forgive and forget, or just plain forget who you are all together and then remember just as you start yelling at her type of people. Really just one of a kind.

"Sorry, we have a question for you though."

"Uh, what?" Blitzkrieg began to sweat slightly. He was afraid of whatever this question was, as he had a feeling he knew what he was going to ask.

"Well-" came the voice of another man, somewhere behind them. They turned to face him. "We were just wondering why "The Hunter" Jones D. Blitzkrieg was doing in such a small town?" Blitzkrieg stiffened as Luffy swore loudly in another language before finally summing up what they were both feeling.

"We're so screwed!"

* * *

><p>AN. Thanks for the reading and hope you guys liked it! Since Luffy's Devil Fruit was only hinted at in this chapter, I will not be specifying until the next chapter or so. Anyways, please review and enjoy! Bye!

Luffy: Adios!


	2. Sticky Situations That Get Even More C!

A/N. Ok! Here's chapter 2. enjoy!

To xXBorn-A-PirateXx: Glad you like and boy am I glad that it was good. I was worried because for some odd reason, I'm starting to run out of ideas, plus motivation seems to be at an all time low at the moment. But yeah, anyways, thanks for the review and enjoy!

To TheBlackSeaReaper:Glay you think it's interesting. Thanks for the review and enjoy!

To HibariTusnayoshi-kun: Thanks, and glad you think it's interesting. Now for your question, which is a good one. The reason why I described it like that, well actually, I don't know why. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but since you brought it up, and now that I think about it. You're right, I did kinda overpower them. Now for the thing about Ace. Yes he is in this. Thanks for the review, and hope that answers your questions. Enjoy!

To XFireDevil23: Glad you like it, and hai hai. Here it is! Enjoy!

Summary: Blitzkrieg and Luffy are stuck in quite the sticky situation, and things only get messier when an old friend turned traitor shows up to make things worse.

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece!**

* * *

><p><strong>Sticky Situations That Get Even More Complicated!<strong>

* * *

><p>One of them made a sort of motion with their hands, trying desuade the two from getting all hyped up for nothing.<p>

"Now calm down. We don't want to start anything." he said. It did nothing to get them anymore relaxed 's when Luffy got became very alert suddenly. She was eyeing a man with blond hair, his head resembling a pineapple. Blitzkrieg was wondering if maybe he should warn the man of Luffy's appetite. Unless he was wrong, that expression on her face usually meant she was hungry and was debating whether it was acceptable to eat what was infront of her. He was shockingly wrong for once.

"Blitz-nii, not to scare you but...Doesn't the pineapple head look familiar...Think bounties we were to just keep track of, not hunt down."

"Oh crap...We are definitely screwed..." Blitzkrieg said as his face lost quite a bit of color. The men in front of them, upon closer inspection, were all members of the Whitebeard Pirates. "This just keeps getting better." suddenly a man came running in from the back looking quite panicked.

"Sorry to throw everything into dissaray, but for those of you who care. Marines are coming. They'll be here in, oh maybe, 1 minute." Everyone looked slightly confused as to whether or not they should all be screaming or something. "Vice-Admiral Amintier is amongst them." Luffy swore up a storm again, this time in a language could all understand, and made quite a few of them color with how colorful her vocabulary was. She fell silent, looking quite sheepish as her brother gave her a warning glare, weakened by how pale and sick he looked. Suddenly Pineapple Head moved behind them, and started pushing the both of them. He shoved Blitzkrieg under one of the tables, and any view of him was immediately blocked by some of the man's crewmates. He dragged Luffy into the kitchen, and after some shuffling around put her under one of the cabinets.

He came back and sat down to his drink, looking for all intense and purposes, like he hadn't just hid two criminals wanted by the government.

They all went back to their partying when the door opened, causing the place to fall silent. A man with neatly combed black hair and a sword securely tied to his waste walked in. He emitted an air of calm authority that seemed to leave no room for objections. He was the famous vice-admiral Ludwick C. Amintier, a filthy snake in Blitzkrieg's opinion. He came to a stop, his whole physique screaming confidence as he surveyed the room full of wanted pirates. He looked at each and everyone of them, including Pineapple Head, as if they were insignificant. Not important enough to garner his immediate attention at the moment. And it was, in some form true.

Oh yes, the Whitebeard Pirates were important, a lethal threat to the government, led by a man who could destroy the world on a simple whim, but no. Right now he had bigger fish to fry. This man was here for a reason, and it wasn't to intimidate the crew of a near ancient pirate, though that was an added bonus at the moment.

He was looking for two fugitives, long over do for their execution. They were dangerous, as not only did they used to be the marines' top track and capture team, they had escaped Impel Down succesfully, something that had yet to be done since the few years after Roger's death. Impel Down was still recouperating from the incident and what had followed.

"Good day gentlemen." he greeted as if he weren't talking to a bunch of criminals.

"Good day Mister Marine." Came the response from Pineapple head. "What can we do for you?" Blitzkrieg almost choked. The guy was acting so disconcerted with the man's prescence that even he would have believed the man was hiding nothing. But he knew better. After all, he was one of the secrets the clever pirate was keeping, his younger sister being the other.

"Well, simple really." he lifted two wanted posters. Blitzkrieg and Luffy's pictures printed front and center in middle of both of them, along with their epiphets and other such necessities. "I'm looking for these two. They are wanted for various reasons. Highly dangerous, and very elusive unfortunately. Jones D. "The Hunter" Blitzkrieg, and Luffy of the Tundra. If you see either of them, please do tell us." He requested. Blitzkrieg rolled his eyes. The man was an idiot. Had been years ago when he met him, and still was. He wouldn't change unless it fitted him. Filthy snake.

"And pray tell. Why would we do that? We are a bunch of pirates after all. What would we have to gain from turning them in to you?"

"Besides the 250 million beli on each of their heads, which when combined, total a wapping 500 million?"

"Yes, besides that." the vice-admiral chuckled lightly before answering,

"Well, for one thing you'd be helping keep the public safe. These two are very dangerous and not above harming the innocent to get what they want. And I'm sure the Whitebeard Pirates are decent enough, that they wouldn't let a couple of folks like that keep running free if they came upon them." The man gave a smile, as if telling Pineapple Head that he knew something they didn't.

"Well unfortunately for you, and as disconcerting as it must be. I'm afraid to say that no. We haven't seen hide nor hair of this-" he took amoment to look at the bounty posters as if he hadn't seen them before, "-Jones D. Blitzkrieg, and Luffy of the Tundra. Interesting that last one by the way."

"Yes, well. We never found out what her full name is. They are good at covering their tracks." The man gave the bar a once over before turning to leave, giving a nonchalant wave as he exited the bar.

"A one moment." Pineapple Head called. Amintier looked back at him, eyebrow raised,

"Yes?"

"Well I was wondering. You said they were dangerous, and wanted for various reasons correct?" Pineapple Head asked. Mintier nodded.

"Yes, why?"

"Well, I was just curious. What exactly were those reasons?" Amintier's expression almost faltered, almost.

"That's classified." he stated coldly, before finally smiling brightly and turning to leave. "Have a nice day. And please, if you do see them, don't hesitate to hand them over. You may wind up regretting it if you don't." Amintier left, disappearing in the outside air.

Pineapple Head waited a moment before he finally gave a signal to the men who had been hiding Blitzkrieg during the whole thing. They moved, allowing said man to finally move and get out from under the table. Pineapple Head watched as a man wearing a bright orange cowboy hat walked to the kitchen. In a few moments he came back with Luffy in tow. Luffy sat down with her brother as he nervously scratched the back of his neck.

"So..." Blitzkrieg began nervously, before being interrupted by Pineapple Head,

"So what? Nice to meet ya. Name's Mar-"

"Marco the Phoenix, first division commander of the Whitebeard Pirates. We know, a lot." Luffy said, stating the last part hesitantly.

"A lot you say?" Marco said as he sat back down. They both nodded.

"Well why don't you two sit instead of standing around all awkward like. We ain't gonna bite." Blitzkrieg supplied a nervous laugh while Luffy saught out chairs, finding some with help from the boy with the cowboy hat.

They both sat and with Luffy playing around with various silverware out of boredom.

"So you said you guys know a lot, right?" Blitzkrieg eyed Marco for moment before slowly nodding his head, "Like what?" Blitzkrieg was silent for a moment, debating whether it was a good idea or not. Marco was about to tell them that they didn't have to when he finally answered,

"Well, things that not even most people in this crew know for one thing..." This caused to give them credulous looks. They didn't believe them. Luffy grinned as she realized it was her time to shine. "Don't believe us? Fine. Luffy?"

"Marco the Phoenix, First division commander of the Whitebeard Pirates, but there was a time, about 12 or so years back where you couldn't be found. During that time, you were traveling about doing minor research on the void century." she stated, watching with curiosity as Marco's eyes widened.

"Wow, maybe you guys do know stuff about us that we don't know. What else?" The two siblings looked at each other before beaming, as Luffy proceeded to give some more information she had discovered about the commander, with permission from him of course.

"Before that, we managed to uncover the fact that you used to live in a now uninhabited island near Raftel. I believe the village was called Sante Marianna. It was protected by the Pirate king until his untimely death. The island was utterly destroyed in what was passed off by the government as an attack by some out of control extremest faction of the Revolutionaries." Marco gave her a serious look,

"What do you mean 'passed off'?" Luffy's expression grew dim as she looked around, before suddenly shacking her head.

"Not here. The walls have ears, and you will find eyes in even the most unexpected of places. Maybe somewhere else. But not here."

"Fine. We'll talk about it later. For now, I have a proposition for you two..."

"You want us to join the Whitebeard Pirates don't you?" Marco blinked before grinning slightly,

"You two would probably be great assets. And also-"

"No need to convince us. You hid us when you could have just as easily left us out in the open to get caught. We owe you, we'll come." Marco smiled. That had been easier then he thought. They were obviously agreeable people, and not ones to leave a debt unpaid, even if it was a minor one.

"Well c'mon. I'd like to hear more about what you two know. And besides, I'm sure Pops would like to meet you two as well." They nodded and everybody had gotten up to leave. With it being late and all, they'd need to turn in soon, or risk getting scolded by Marco or the second division commander later.

It looked like things were going to get better for the two, and for that Blitzkrieg was thankful. A life on the run was no way to live, especially when you had a 15 year old child with you. Things would be a lot more stable now, and he didn't have to worry too much about Luffy and her safety.

Yes, things were getting a lot better for them. And who knows, maybe things would stay that way. But then again. The Monkey D.s had never had the best of luck when it came to life. The whole family was dysfunctional, with pirates, revolutionaries, civilians, bounty hunters, and marines mixed into one family, it had never been to settling to have all of the current living ones together in the same town, or even the same country for that matter.

All well. He would just have to hope for the best and pray that things turned out well.

* * *

><p>AN. Thanks for reading, and hope you guys enjoyed that! Please review and see ya!


	3. Interesting Arguments!

A/N. Ok! Here's the third chapter!

To xXBorn-A-PirateXx: Thanks and the temptation was there. Also thanks for the help!

To crazzyredhead: Thanks, and Ace is 21, so I don't think that would be appropriate in this fanfic! Sorry. Enjoy!

To Son of Whitebeard: Thanks and glad you like it. First it'll get funny though. Enjoy!

To HibariTsunayoshi-kun: Thanks and you''ll just have to see. Thanks for the review and enjoy!

To Ferdawg: Thanks and glad there is potential there. Enjoy!

To TheBlackSeaReaper: Thanks! Enjoy!

To Rell: Thanks and yes, chaos shall reign supreme on the Moby Dick! Enjoy!

To Naomi-nami16: 29, Oda never did tell us Marco's age. And you're supposed to hate Amintier. He's the villain, and will play a very important role when I get to the part that relates to canon. Thanks for the review and enjoy!

Summary: Blitz and Luffy meet Whitebeard, and some other key players in the crew as well. But have they completely escaped their past yet, or is it still chasing them?

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, that belongs to Oda, and Adriann-chan belongs to xXBorn-A-PirateXx!

* * *

><p><strong>Interesting Arguments!<strong>

* * *

><p>Blitzkrieg stood nervously infront of Edward Newgate, a man who oozed power even when hooked up to what had to be the largest amount of life-support equipment he had ever seen. That was no exageration as he and his younger sister had found themselves in the hospital more times then they cared to count.<p>

"Gurararara! So these are the little brats that's got the Marines all in a tizzy!" he laughed as he eyed the two siblings. Blitzkrieg couldn't help but feel a bit nervous, which was more then could ever be said for his younger sister, who despite everything they had been through and more, still didn't quite understand the implications and definition of 'dangerous'.

Sometimes he couldn't help but be jealous of her, this was one of them.

"Yep. And they could be really useful. So can they stay?" Marco asked as he gave a lopsided smile, perfectly at peace in the prescence of his captain. _'And of course he would be. Unlike us, he's not a stranger in unfamiliar territory. This is his home.' _Blitzkrieg thought forlornly. It felt like he was in a battlefield, surrounded by enemies that could easily take him and his sister down at a moments notice. To say it was unsettling was an understatement.

"I don't see why not. Though I do have to wonder how they can be useful other then fighting." Marco smiled as he looked toward Luffy, who wasn't even paying attention, instead opting for staring vacantly at the sea over the side of the railing. Blitzkrieg sighed as she finally deigned to pay attention to them.

"The Moby Dick. Flag ship of the Whitebeard Pirates, captained by Edward Newgate, one of the oldest pirates and former rival of the Pirate King Gol D. Roger." she started relaying the information that had been stored inside her head. "Can carry over one thousand men alone, but usually only has 600 at any given time. There are only four divisions on board and maintaining control of the ship, though there are times when every division has been known to be aboard at the same time." Whitebeard raised a slightly impressed eyebrow at this, but she wasn't done. Luckily everybody aboard already knew this information otherwise there might have been a riot.

"One such time was when Gol D. Ace-" said pirate, the man with the orange cowboy hat, couldn't help but pale as she used his full, real name, "son of the late Pirate King, challenged Whitebeard for his head. The battle lasted a good day, and prior to that, said pirate had fought Shichibukai Jimbei, also an ally of Whitebeard's, for five days straight without a break. It ended with him being recruited into their ranks after 100 days straight of failed assasination attempts." she finished deciding that she had said enough at that moment in time.

Ace finally vocalized his thoughts, looking quite sick in the face.

"Ok, that was kinda scary. What did you say your jobs were as Marines again?" Blitzkrieg looked at Ace with an expression so serious, you'd have never expected what came out of his mouth,

"We made cupcakes." Luffy hit the deck laughing her head off, as Ace blanched. "Sorry, had to break the tension. Seriously though, we were trackers." Luffy was still rolling across the deck, gasping for breath as she said between mildly loud guffaws how her sides hurt. And something about her spleen.

"I thought trackers-"

"Tracked things. That is basically what we did, but we did more then that. There is more to the job then what is widely known. Especially when dealing with the World Government and such. We were to track down pirates, gather information on them, and if necessary and deemed enough of a threat, take them down." He spoke with the tone of a well-trained marine describing the basics to a rookie he had been placed in charge of.

It was clear how well he was taught, though Luffy's training and education as part of the Navy was being put into question at the moment, seeing as she still hadn't recovered from her laughing fit, apparently having found something else just as, if not more amusing.

Blitzkrieg looked at her, grimacing slightly as he sighed, before calling out in a foreign language; "Ruffy, zu sitzen!"

Luffy fell quiet almost immediately, before she pulled something not everybody was quite expecting.

The air grew really cold as Luffy seemed to turn to snow and ice, only to take the form of some type of kenine. It solidified, taking on more clear features, and shortly became fox.

The wooden deck below her paws froze and the air stayed icey, causing several members to scramble for proper clothing in the new temperature. Blitzkrieg showed no sign of being affected at all by the sudden decrease instead watching his sister as she sat obediently in front of him, prim, proper, and straight like a trained military dog in her animal form. Too much so, and showing no signs at all that the animal was even human. It made Marco slightly uncomfortable seeing how well the Marines had truly trained her, and he had to silently wonder what they had to do, how far the training had gone to beat any and all human characteristics and behaviors out of her in that form.

Blitzkrieg sighed as he gave a motion with his hand, causing Luffy to fully relax, and for the air temperature to warm up some, enough to forgo the coats that had magically appeared on some members.

"Sorry about that. Habits die hard." he simply explained as Luffy changed back into her human form, looking quite sheepish and apologetic about her forcing the temperature to go near below freezing.

"Shishishi...Yeah...Sorry." she laughed nervously as several finally went back to dressing like it was summer outside and not the dead of winter in Alaska.

Whitebeard finally spoke up after everything seemed to calm down,

"Gurararara! So we got two former Marine trackers, both carry a good wealth of information and one even has a Devil Fruit. Not to mention they're both trained fighters. I say that's as good a deal as any. Welcome aboard you brats! You can call me Pops." He nodded, clearly pleased with the new additions as he looked toward the crowd before giving a nod of sorts with his head. "Brat! Thatch! Get your butts over here!"

"Wait, I thought we were the brats..." Luffy added on, only to lose interest and look back at the sea not five seconds later. Blitzkrieg just sighed as two pirates came out from the crowd. One was a rather tall man when compared to the woman standing next to him. She was on the short side, dwarfed by most everyone on the ship save Luffy, who had just been small from the get go. The woman seemed to not care what was going on at all.

"Brat, Thatch, meet your new younger brother and sister, show them around why don't you? Thatch you got the boy, Brat, take care of the girl." The woman, referred to as 'Brat' huffed slightly in defiance,

"I don't wanna." she stated simply as the old man in front of them looked at her with an air of exasperation.

"Just do it."

"..." she didn't back down any, until finally White Beard spoke up again,

"Brat..."

"Fine. Get off my back." She huffed as she turned around to Luffy, only to blink as she realized that said 15 year old was gone. "Where the-"

"Check the figure head, if she's not there, she's lying around somewhere, or raiding the kitchen. She could have also fallen overboard..." _splish! _"She fell overboard.." As a Fishman ran over to the side of the ship and jumped into the ocean to fish Luffy out.

"Great, Another Fire Monkey...Only this time I guess she's an Ice Monkey..."

"Actually she's an Ice Fox, but okay." He said as he watched the Fishman drag his sister onto the deck, water logged and all. Luffy coughed and hacked up sea water for a bit before transforming into her animal form. Blitzkrieg immediately backed up as far as he could without falling overboard as Luffy proceeded to do what every dog does whent they are sopping wet.

Any and all Devil Fruit users who hadn't taken any hint from Blitzkrieg immediately regretted it when they wound up soaked in sea water.

Ace glared at Luffy with all the spite a fellow Devil Fruit user could as Luffy changed back, now perfectly dry, her fur, and in human form hair, puffed into an unmanagable afro that was going to be hell to fix later.

"I hope that's not going to be a habit..." he stated scournfully as Luffy grinned with all the innocence that made her personality and allowed her to stay so annoyingly cheerful.

"Annoyin' ice monkey..." 'Brat' grumbled under her breath, irritated at getting sopping wet as well.

"Shishishi! Sorry." She apologized. She was not sorry at all.

"Unfortunately, it is. She's a dog, or at least falls into the genus of kenine, which are what both dogs and foxes belong to. When she is wet, she will shake to get all the water out of her fur. Unfortunately that means everybody who is slow enough to not get out of range in time will wind up just as wet."

"You could have warned us..."

"I thought me running as far as I could go away from her was warning enough."

"Shut up..." Ace said, figuring out for all his glaring and threatening he was not going to win this particular fight. Luffy trotted up, stopping at his side as she looked at 'Brat' curiously before her eyes widened in recognition.

"Blitz-nii..."

"Hm?"

"That's 'Jumping Crow'." Blitzkrieg looked a bit closer at the woman before his eyes also widened in recognition.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that Whitebeard managed to recruit her. How...Interesting..." Blitzkrieg couldn't help but tilt his head as something seemed to cross his mind. 'Brat' seemed to shuffle slightly before speaking up,

"Oh, quit whatever creepy thoughts are creepin' into yer head." she said, as Luffy blinked at her,

"You really do have an accent..." Luffy stated in wonder.

"Shut yer yap, annoyin' brat."

"Oh yeah, now I remember why we didn't report your where abouts to the higher ups. You were really amusing, that and Luffy insisted on some sort of strange reasoning I forgot about."

"And what sort of reasoning was that?"

"I don't quite remember, it left me really confused. Though I'm pretty sure it had something to do with our actual father and mother, and then some other stuff that didn't relate at all to the given topic at hand. In the end I gave up because there's really no winning an arguement with her."

"It can't be that bad." Ace stated, causing Blitzcrieg to give him a strange look as he responded finally.

"Oh yeah, let's see how you handle 'Luffy Logic'. You can't talk to me about how easy reasoning with her is unless you've experienced it, multiple times. Do that, and then we'll talk."

"You sure you're not exagerating?" At some point during the discussion 'Brat' and Thatch had disappeared below deck along with everybody else who had been victims to Luffy's impromptu splash session.

"I'm hungry." Luffy interjected suddenly.

"You can wait, 'sides dinner won't be ready for another two hours." Ace stated, seeming quite disappointed in the amount of time himself.

"No I can't. And who are you to boss me around?"

"I'm older then youm and more experienced. Plus I'm your senior."

"Oh no." Blitzkrieg recognized where this was going right away. By now everyone had come back sporting renewed hairstyles and dry clothes.

* * *

><p>Warning: You are about to enter the danger zone that is 'Luffy Logic'. You have been warned.<p>

* * *

><p>"Wait so your an old man? You look really young." Ace looked at her like she was crazy as he answered, completely ignoring Blitzkrieg's waving about in warning.<p>

"Hey! I'm not old! I never said that!"

"You said you were my senior. Doesn't that make you old?" Several people were laughing, including Whitebeard as the arguement took a turn for the random and unreasonable.

"That's not what I meant!"

"But you said you were old!"

"That's not what senior means!"

"Yes it does. Senior citizen." Luffy crossed her arms as Ace short-fused on her, not being able to form a coherent word as he tried to reason with the impossible.

"That's. not. what. I. meant." he stated slowly.

"Then what do you mean?"

"Senior as in one of higher rank!"

"Oh. Why didn't you just say that instead?"

"Grr. I shouldn't have to!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't"

"No you do."

"Yes, I don't!"

"No, you don't?"

"Yes, I do!"

"Ha! I win!"

"Wait what?"

"Fishtsticks!"

"Fishsticks? What the-"

"Wait, why do you want fishsticks? Anyways I'm going to go find food, see ya!"

* * *

><p>Alert! You have just left the Danger Zone of 'Luffy Logic'. You are safe, for now.<p>

* * *

><p>"That's not-It's... what the hell just happened?" Ace asked as Blitzkrieg shook his head, this time empathetic to the poor man. Several members in the background were busting a gut laughing as Luffy disappeared below deck unimpeded.<p>

"Ace...I'm sorry, but you just had your first dose of 'Luffy Logic', like I said before, you cannot win." Ace just whimpered pathetically as he nursed a headache.

"So your sister has the ability to just up and win an arguement by being completely random and unreasonable?" Marco asked as some members guided Ace below deck to get changed into dry clothes, and to hopefully recover from an extrememd dose of whatever the hell just happened.

"Yep, she can also play dead...Literally." Marco gave him a weird look as Blitzkrieg turned to Thatch, "So you were supposed to be showing me around?"

"Oh yeah, C'mon, first stop the dorms!" Thatch slug an arm around Blitzkrieg's shoulder as he guided the man below deck. Before he disappeared he called back to 'Brat',

"You might want to remove Luffy from the kitchen before she eats all the food. She is fully capable of it, I'm telling you now!" 'Brat' let it sink in a bit, before she just gave a disinterested stare and went below deck.

"Great. Why did I get the difficult one that can't be reasoned with?" She huffed again as she went to the galley, hopefully before Luffy ate everybody out of house and home.

Marco gave a lopsided grin as he chuckled slightly,

"Well one things for sure, this is gonna be fun...Though I'd hate to be subject to that type of logic." Marco stated as he went to sit down somewhere. Yep, things were going to be interesting from here on out with those two around.

* * *

><p>AN. Okay, so I somehow wound up turning this into a comedy chapter...I have no idea how that happened, or how the famed and terrifying 'Luffy Logic' came into the picture. It was funny though. So what do you guys think? Thanks for reading and please review! See ya!


End file.
